WELCOME
TO THE
CUSTOMER SERVICE DEPT.
CONNIPTION CONTROL SECTION

PRELIMINARY MENU — July 4, 2019     See № 1

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CONNIPTION-CONTROL
STATIONTalk to a PC Complaint Specialist Talk to a PC counselor

“ Whoever can surprise well must conquer. ” — John Paul Jones

We have found hirng socialists for Our Customer Service Department Coniption Control Section is the best way to say we care for the ocasional one who comes here. Like you they don’t give a rats tail for any ones opinions but theirs and we have armed Aryan Brotherhood as our secret police (just like they have in all socuialist countries) to give the socialists a feeling of home care. They will insure our representatives are keeping up to our expectations of hodw a socialist cares about any problem but their own by conciling their identity and pretendng to be a co-workers on the phone lines just like home.
All of our customer service representatives are busy with other clients. ALERT! Pressing the disconnect button will loose your position in the queue.

All of our customer service representatives are busy with other clients.
Your wait time is approximately 4 to 6 hours to talk with a representative.

Copyright © 2019 Crossfire, See note №: 5
Compassion-Center.html 06/12/2019

Brilliant Choice! You Have Reached The only Compassion Center designed to handle full blown Conniption Events within 6,921 miles. How will you be paying today cash credit or insurance? You must pay before you can be entered into the queue. If at any time you feel your connipticve state getting worse and an attendant won’ be able to get hear before a week from next Tuesday don’t complain to us about it we did not vote for the socialist you elected to run the system. We always supply the best treatments alluded to by the 1848 book by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. I know your in great pain caused by the capitolist system presenting the naked truth of what you have elected to rule your lifeby so are all the opressed workers in the world that need care more than some impatient momma’s boy. Based on this preliminary evaluation of your health and abilities I see a way to speed up the care program for you. Attendants take this man to the brand new reform through Labor prison manufacturing facility for The I-phones. And remove the drulling one in the corner her conniption was caused by someone singing God Bless America time you feel a conniption comming on because of some violation of your Politically Correct Code that we care less about then stepping on a dead ant and you feel driven to do something about it press the button to your right and be instantly taken from here to a medically staffed complain site that will listen to you even in a full blown conniption event and help you thought it. On the other hand you may can push the button on the left and listen to the mind numbing silence while you wait to talk to the complaint department. The usual wait time is four to six hours but our logs show that most people who make the effort and wait on hold will leave the conniptive state and the idiotic smile will return to their face in less than one hour of silent holding. This mark of the idiot is our signal to spring into action. Two medical transport professionals will take charge of you and bring you to one of the local Starbucks’ and sit you in a seat where you can take all the time you need to fully recover among other understanding Starbuckians.