TO THE
CUSTOMER SERVICE DEPT.
CONNIPTION CONTROL SECTION
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Brilliant Choice! You have reached the only Conniption Control Center within 6,921 miles. How will you be paying today cash credit or insurance? We have found hiring socialists for Our Customer Service Department Conniption Control Section is the best way to say we care for the occasional one who comes here. Like you they don’t give a rats tail for any ones opinions but they know we have armed Aryan Brotherhood as our secret police (just like they have in all socialist countries) to give the socialists a feeling of home care. They will insure our representatives are keeping up to our expectations of how a socialist cares about any problem but their own by concealing their identity and pretending to be a co-workers on the phone lines just like home.
All of our customer service representatives are busy with other clients. ALERT! Pressing the disconnect button will loose your position in the queue.
All of our customer service representatives are busy with other Clients.
FOUR TO EIGHT HOURS
The Quick Egress buttonIf you thing the best thing to do is is get to your friends special spot where you can reconvince yourself tha faciests are the only baf thing in this world. Check the The Top Ten List of Utopian heroes and see some facts and not the educators propaganda handed out by Russian Spy Masters to their agents teaching in the Western Public Education System.
For compassionate conniption caretime you feel a conniption comming on because of some violation of your Politically Correct Code that we care less about then stepping on a dead ant and you feel driven to do something about it press the button to your right and be instantly taken from here to a medically staffed complain site that will listen to you even in a full blown conniption event and help you thought it. On the other hand you may can push the button on the left and listen to the mind numbing silence while you wait to talk to the complaint department. The usual wait time is four to six hours but our logs show that most people who make the effort and wait on hold will leave the conniptive state and the idiotic smile will return to their face in less than one hour of silent holding. This mark of the idiot is our signal to spring into action. Two medical transport professionals will take charge of you and bring you to one of the local Starbucks’ and sit you in a seat where you can take all the time you need to fully recover among other understanding Starbuckians.